COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: How To Make the Best Snowballs

It is that time of year where there is snowfall every week in Montana. That means the two different types of people come or don’t go anywhere. 50% of Montana love to snowmobile, ski, and snowboard.

Whereas the other half just want to stay in their house, complaining how cold it is, and that they can’t drive in snow.

One of my best snow recipes is called Forbidden Snowballs. It’s one of the hardest recipes you’ll ever have to make. First you’ll need a bowl of snow. Then you’re gonna have to find the most elusive animal in Montana, the Jackalope. Jackalopes are normally found clear over in eastern Montana, also known as western North Dakota, or rarely next to lakes by Phillipsburg. I’ve only found one there and that was by Georgetown. It took me months to catch, and I kept it for a year. When you do find your Jackalope, you need one with both horns attached. If there are no horns, please release it back into the wild, or it will make your snowballs taste horrible. The other thing you will need is reindeer milk. You can only find a reindeer in this part of the country one time a year, on Christmas Eve. Thank God Santa Claus and I have a signed agreement so he stops and lets me milk one. Apparently he makes a lot of money with these agreements. I think that’s how he can afford all the toys.

Dancer and Prancer are good with me doing it, but Vixen is a little skittish and sometimes spills the milk. Comet really gets burned up.

Steps:

1. Go get a huge bowl of snow.

2. This is a weird step, but you must collect the urine of the Jackalope on a full moon. Remember, it has to have both its horns.

3. Then on Christmas night, you wanna get Santa Claus to stop at your house and then milk a reindeer The milk is the topping for the snow balls and dang, it is good!

4. After you have all those three steps done, slowly pour the urine onto the snow. Shape your snow into balls. I like little tiny balls, they are easier to put in your mouth. Then drizzle the milk over the balls.