Just Ask Georgia: 5/15/2024

Georgia, I have a question,

I’m the mother of a five-year-old. I’ve been happily married for six years - but that could change after my husband’s outlandish Mother’s Day present. He gave me - deep breath - a “Mother & Toddler” two-hour art class for Mother’s Day.

I love my child; I adore the ground she walks on, and she gives me endless hours of joy. We spend a lot of time together as I am a stay-at-home mom. So is it terrible that, for Mother’s Day, I do not want to be sent off to a class with my child while my husband plays golf? I want a few hours AWAY from my toddler for Mother’s Day! Am I overreacting?

A Young Exasperated Mom

Dear Exasperated,

I’ve heard some terrible Mother’s Day presents. While this one is pretty bad, here are some real clunkers: traveling steerage in a cruise cabin with no windows, a repurposed corporate gift certificate with your significant other’s name on it, or a pedicure with your not-so-nice mother-in-law. While we’re on the subject, here are some of my other no-nos for Mother’s Day gifts. Cuddly toys, mugs with “Best Mom Ever,” tote bags with “Big Mama,” key rings with “I Love Mom,” and other tchotchkes are sweet but not thoughtful enough.

A day at the spa is nice, but men should be wary of giving their partner a “Mother’s Day Botox Special” (yes, they exist). Nothing says, “I love you just the way you are,” like a suggestion to erase all the laugh lines and wrinkles after all those years changing diapers, breastfeeding, and cleaning up after your family.

Your husband got it half right, but a day without your toddler would have been ideal. Let’s cut him some slack - maybe go ahead and go to the class, but mention how nice breakfast in bed that morning would be, and hint that an extra long bath/shower/get-ready time would make you look forward to the day, especially if he plays with your child in another room.

Also, return the favor in a few weeks and see what he thinks—call the art school and ask if they have a Father’s Day special like the one you were gifted. If not, suggest one!

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”