Thought Provokers: 3/27/2024

There are people who will play the lottery when the jackpot is 1 billion but then turn their nose up when the jackpot is only 100 million.

Tons of puns are exclusive to people who speak more than one language.

Sometimes, people come back into your life to see if you are still stupid.

You’ll never get back those 5 minutes you spent as a kid watching and waiting for a digital clock to change to the next minute.

Flying carpets aren’t carpets; they are flying rugs!

The only relationships you obsess over involve someone never fully available to you.

You know you’re getting old when people stop getting your movie quotes.

You never hear someone use percentages to compare people's ages, like 20% older or 40% younger.

The Q in ‘queue’ is the most important because it’s the first in the queue.

Every ‘end of the world’ movie is actually a ‘how the world survived’ movie.

The purpose of a lock is to turn the door into a wall.

The solution to almost every slasher movie is to live in a big city and not go camping.

A country is a successful gang.

True loners don’t complain about being lonely.

Strangely, tattoos are still done by hand. You’d think by now, you'd have an option to bring in a high-resolution photo and have a machine reproduce it perfectly on your skin.

People had to smoke many weeds before finding the right one.

There’s nothing more disgusting than food when you’re full.

Maybe plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch they can consume.

The smell of Spring is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

It‘s interesting how almost no one is using laser pointers anymore.

Each species has its own unique user interface.

The ability to blow out birthday candles throughout your life is a bell curve.

Steam is the ghost of water.

There’s only one way to fold your arms. The other way just feels wrong and is a bit tricky.

The sounds of a rainstorm and distant thunder have only been comforting to humans since the invention of houses.

The early tapeworm gets the bird.

Vampires hating garlic is a rumor spread by vampires to make people taste better.