Just Ask Georgia: 2/28/2024

Georgia, I have a question,

I (M46) am in a great relationship with a lovely lady (F45). However, she has an 18-year-old son, who I believe may have Asperger’s, who I don’t get along with at all. He’s a bit strange and never makes an effort to clean up after himself, he has poor hygiene and is socially awkward.

I just bought a two-bedroom house on my own - my girlfriend did not contribute towards the house - it was all my money. I asked her to move in. I did not invite the son. I don't want him living in my home - I’d be giving up a room for him which could be my office or workout room. I think he should get a home of his own since he’s 18. My girlfriend thinks I'm selfish. What is your take on this? Am I selfish?

Mom Only, No Son

Dear No Son,

Wow, that’s a lot to process. You’re expecting an 18-year-old who is possibly on the spectrum to go from being a dependent to living completely on their own? I’m guessing you don’t have children yourself. I can see your viewpoint - 18 is an adult - but there are extenuating circumstances here. Don’t be surprised when she chooses her child over you and doesn’t move in. And yes, you’re being selfish.

With Love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

My wife and I have been married for a year. She doesn’t like coming upstairs to bed if I’m not ready for bed... and she will sleep on the couch while I’m watching TV in the living room. I will wake her and suggest she head to bed since she’s tired and I have no plans to go to bed. She insists that she wants to stay downstairs. I typically do this when I have an off day and no need to get up early the next morning; she, on the other hand, has to get up early like 4-5 days a week.

On days I’m tired and want to go to bed early I don’t wait up for her. She’ll be asleep on the couch or watching TV and I will tell her I’m headed to bed and ask her if she’s coming to bed, and she’ll say not yet. I say ok, love you, goodnight... but when she comes to bed sometimes she’s salty... like I should have waited for her like she does for me. Should I?

Not Waiting Around

Dear Waiting,

I will never understand couples who require going to bed at the same time...but that’s just me. In your case, it sounds like she wants to be with you and is insulted because she thinks you do not share that feeling. Just wake her up to go to bed with you if she falls asleep on the couch. Otherwise, she’s going to wake up in the middle of the night with hurt feelings. Avoid the conflict and take her to bed.

With Love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

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