A Different Perspective: 2/14/2024

"O, wad some Power the giftie gie us

To see oursels as others see us!

It wad frae monie a blunder free us,

An' foolish notion."

Robert Burns

Translation: Oh, what power it would give us, to see ourselves as others see us. It would free us from many a blunder, and foolish notion.

How we see the world and the people around us is the most personal of perspectives. How other people see us is one of life's greatest mysteries, probably second only to what happens when life ends. The end of life is done in a heartbeat (or, more aptly, the lack of one), whereas we deal with the other almost our entire lives.

At the root of what we see around us is how we view ourselves. What influences the clarity and effectiveness of the lens we look inwardly through? What changes the view through that looking glass, for better or worse, as we grow older and experience life? The only way we have of knowing is not by straining to see better inward, but by seeing our reflection in the beings around us.

I used the term beings, rather than people because it would be a distorted image if we didn't include our animals, perhaps the clearest of pictures, if and when we learn to see and understand them. You can tell a lot about people by how their animals are.

Which brings us back to Bobbie Burns. Knowing how we are seen could be the soft touch of a feather or the sharpest of stabbing blades, and the certainty, without doubt, would leave no avenue to escape the stabs.

The classic event most of us can relate to is the blossoming of teen hormones, along with a myriad of doubts and questions we didn't dare ask because we were the ONLY ONES who ever felt those things. Bodily changes, emotional runaways, all sorts of nonsense information from friends. a new school ... The brew swirled around us, ever-changing.

Then the Giftie lifts the veils and we know for certain how that crush sees us. In the best of worlds, we are beautiful in their eyes and all our feelings are validated and returned.

But (there is usually a but, sometimes a big, ugly, one), what if the object of our desire is just the jerk who looks down on everyone? Maybe they were terribly abused and have no good feelings toward you at all. There would be all kinds of scenarios where knowing how they see you might not be good at all, and do damage to you, through no fault of yours.

In later life, the power guides us into great relationships, jobs, and success, keeping us from making terrible mistakes. Or it makes us incapable of taking necessary risks and maybe pushing past the defenses of the person who hated us in high school, helping them heal those scars.

So, Burns' vision becomes another perspective, changing according to who is involved and what forces shape them. The odds are probably in your favor if you're a good person with a fair amount of self-confidence, but there is also a good case for another famous quote, "Be careful what you wish for..."

There are always times you'd like to know what others think, but the unknowns are often what make life interesting and bring the greatest rewards. The mistakes and hardships give us an appreciation for the good.