Just Ask Georgia: 1/24/2024

Georgia, I have a question,

I am seriously contemplating going under the knife. I have a monstrosity of a nose that I just can’t pass on to my future offspring - if I fix it now they won’t ever have to worry about it. However, my husband thinks “Why stop there?” He suggested I also get a boob job because then our future daughter won’t have to worry about that either. I think that’s insensitive and he has really hurt my feelings. What do you think?

Nosey and Not Well-Endowed

Nosey,

Well, let’s start at the beginning here. Your looks, which are based on genetics, can not be changed via plastic surgery and then passed down to your children. Your child will be born with the nose they are genetically predisposed to. Same with breast size - you can’t alter them now and then have your future children born with those attributes.

Now, on to your husband. Please smack him for me. Thank you.

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

I need you to settle this disagreement once and for all. I went to a movie recently with some friends. I got hungry. I had hard-boiled eggs in my purse that I had put there just in case of a hunger pang. So I ate my eggs. My friend group and my husband say this is not socially acceptable. They think the eggs are too smelly to eat at an indoor venue and that I am a jerk for eating eggs near others the way I did. I thoroughly enjoyed my eggs and would like to continue doing this, in case I get hungry. Am I the bad guy?

Stinky Eggs

Eggs,

While I am also a huge fan of a good hardboiled egg when hungry, I must say I agree with your husband. Maybe next time take a visit to the bathroom, or go for a bit of air outdoors, and mow down on your eggs in private. Preferably somewhere with a vent!

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”