Thought Provokers: 8/9/2023

As a kid, my parents taught me to not believe everything I see on TV. Now, I have to teach them to not believe everything they see on Facebook.

If ghosts can walk through walls, why do they bother with doors?

Why do we call them “fingers” if we don’t actually “fing” with them?

Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.

Accidentally liking someone’s post while snooping through their profile is the digital equivalent of stepping on a twig while sneaking through the forest.

“Go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning” is the human version of “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?”

The Olympics is the only time you’ll hear, “Great execution by North Korea.”

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Tobacco companies kill their best customers and condom companies kill their future customers.

Depression is like being in an emotionally abusive relationship with your brain.

Your stomach thinks that all potatoes are mashed.

If aliens come to Earth, we will have to explain why we made dozens of movies in which we fight and kill them.

If time is an illusion, does that mean our showers are never-ending?

Why do we say “I slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

If you’re in virtual reality, how do you know you’re not just in another person’s dream?

The person who proofread Hitler’s speeches was an actual grammar Nazi.

Why do we put our pants on one leg at a time, but take them off two legs at a time?