COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: BBQ Voles

It is that time of the year when the grass is always greener on the other side. Everyone in the neighborhood wants the best-looking grass and will do anything for it. There are many factors that help you achieve the best grass, but there is more that can destroy your grass. Voles seem to be the biggest enemy on the flats of Butte, MT. I have not hunted in Whitehall.

How do you get rid of voles? There are three ways I have heard people try, but only one results in the best BBQ vole I have eaten.

The first way is to put a garden hose into the holes and flush them out with water. Remember you must cover some of the holes so that the voles just don't run away.

The second way is, instead of water, hook up a hose to your lawn mower exhaust pipe. This uses carbon monoxide to make the vole go "to sleep." It doesn't work very well to use a modern vehicle, because the catalytic converter eliminates most of the carbon monoxide.

The third (and best) way is using engine starting fluid. What you do is block off all the holes you can see but two. Remember to have the two open holes on either side of the yard. Then you want to spray half the can in one hole and the other half in the other hole. Use a rag around the nozzle to assure full penetration.

CAUTION: A 5-lb. ABC fire extinguisher is highly recommended to have close by for the next step!

Then lay down on the ground, so you can just reach the hole (to stay clear of any violently erupting flame) and use a match to light the ether. This should result in a mini explosion throughout the tunnels.

Many of the voles will come running out of the holes on fire. They normally do not run far, as a general rule. When they stop running, hit them with a shovel to put the fire out. This will also put them out of any misery, and begin the tenderizing process. Use your garden hose to remove all the burned hair.

INGREDIENTS:

5 voles

Your favorite BBQ sauce

Can of starting fluid

Fire extinguisher

Box of matches

Shovel

Handy garden hose

DIRECTIONS:

1. After the vole is completely out. Cut open the stomach and remove all the guts. About every time you do this method of killing the voles, they are 100% cooked already.

2. Then just rip the meat off with your fingers and dip it into your BBQ sauce.

3. Enjoy a good meal on your vole-free lawn.

Bon Appetit! PS...these recipes are not verified, but if you give them a try, please let us know how they go!