Just Ask Georgia: 4/19/2023

Georgia, I have a question,

How do I teach my 16-year-old daughter not to cry when I yell at her for doing something wrong? I can’t handle her emotions. She needs to man up. Even when I’m not yelling at her, she’s emotional when we talk because I tell her what a baby she’s being. Help.

Strict No-Tears Policy

Dear Strict,

Keep yelling at her, I dare you. Watch as she learns to bite her lip to keep her tears back. Watch as her voice drops to a whisper when you raise your voice, and her whole body freezes.

Listen as she slowly stops telling you when anything is wrong, as she withdraws into herself, and away from any space you’re in.

You won’t have to think too hard as to why she can’t look you in the eye when you speak to her anymore. She’s afraid of you now, isn’t that what you wanted? She can’t trust you anymore. How do you feel about that?

Don’t you worry, if you keep this up, she won’t cry where you can see it anymore. She’ll never come to you when she’s upset, either, but that’s fine, right?

Maybe she’ll start to fight back. Maybe she’ll learn to scream just as loud as you do, and to hell with the consequences. Maybe she’ll find some other way to comfort her hurts. Is that what you want?

Keep yelling at your daughter, go ahead. Make her “man-up.” When she moves out for college, she won’t call you to tell you how she’s been. She might not even show up for Christmas. She will never be home to be emotional around you anymore. Doesn’t that sound fun?

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”