Just Ask Georgia: 3/29/2023

Georgia, I have a question,

How do I calculate the fair price of a girlfriend using asset pricing theory? I don’t want to spend too much money on dates if the woman isn’t worth it.

Budget Minded

Dear Budget,

Your thought process astounds me. Calculating whether or not a woman is worth the money you spend on her in a mathematical equation - wow. Have you ever considered your worth? Would women find you at a fair price?

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

Is it possible to reduce your eyesight in a natural way? I really want glasses - they are so cool - but my eyesight is 20/20.

Gorgeous Glasses

Dear Glasses,

DO NOT DAMAGE YOUR EYESIGHT IN ANY WAY ON PURPOSE! You will regret it for the rest of your life! Buy some fake glasses and be happy with your perfect eyesight!

With love, Georgia

Georgia, I have a question,

Why do a woman’s thighs always have to be bigger than her ankles? I really enjoy big ankles and women seem to keep their thighs larger than their ankles. Isn’t there some type of exercise they can do to bulk up their dainty stems?

Ankle Admirer

Dear Admirer,

Please take out a pencil and paper. Now draw a woman whose ankles are wider than her thighs. Do you see a logistical problem here?

With love, Georgia

Have a question for Georgia? Email her at whledger@gmail.com.

Please note: this column is just for fun. No person, animal, or property has ever been harmed or in danger. Satire is “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.”