COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Blue Booby and Waffles

Due to the fact that chicken prices are increasing, we needed to find an alternative meat. A wonderful reader emailed me about this problem.

Dizzy Izzy lives off the coast of the Pacific Ocean. She recently noticed an increase of the nuisance Blue-footed Booby. The birds flood the coast and poop and make noise 24/7. Due to the fact they only lay one egg at a time, they are not a substitute for egg laying chickens.

Izzy explained she didn't start out to kill the booby, but wanted to chase them away. At first she used a paintball gun. It worked for a little bit, but people started to notice red...