COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Smoked Blobfish

My cousin Jim-Bob lives off the coast of Tasmania and he goes fishing a lot. One night he was checking his crab pots and found a blobfish. The best way to describe the way this fish look is your wife before she puts on makeup or a woman who does not know how to say no to cosmetic surgery. Jim-Bob did not know how to cook it, so he asked his friends and random total strangers the best ways to cook a blobfish.

One person said just to throw it back because something that ugly would only bring bad luck. The second maybe-expert said to just throw it into a fire and hope and pray it tastes good. The third piece of fishy advice was to just cook it like a brisket because it has as much fat as a brisket.

Another know-it-all said to just use it as a joke. Invite all your friends with kids over and cook a four-course meal but, instead of the main course, just place the blobfish on a dish with a lid and bring it to the table. When the lid is lifted on the big smile down under, all the kids will scream and run away! All the parents will laugh and laugh, then be able to spend the rest of the night blobbing in peace.

Jim-Bob did not know what to do after the different advice, so he compromised and did a little of what each crazy local said. In Tasmania, the Devil is in the details.

INGREDIENTS:

One blobfish

Salt

3 jalapenos

Bottle of tequila

5 big potatoes

DIRECTIONS:

1. Gut and cut the face off the blobfish. No one wants to see that face of the blobfish without being drunk enough that you find it`s face oddly attractive. More tequila, as necessary.

2. Then go get the smoker up and running. As it is heating up put the jalapenos into the fish. Then wrap it in tin foil. Smoke the fish for about 7 hours.

3. As the fish is smoking drink the tequila and cook the potatoes by pan frying them.

4. After the fish is smoked, add salt, as much as you want. Then plate the fish with the blob in the center and potatoes all round.

Bon Appetit! P.S. these recipes aren't verified, but let us know if you give them a try!