COUSING CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Buzzing Sugar Pops

This is the best way to get rid of cicadas, you know, those bugs that sound like your wife. They never shut up. However, unlike her, they only come out every 13-17 years!

Cicadas are very difficult to attract. You need salt, sugar, two shot glasses, tequila, and lime juice. Wet the salt so you can roll it into a ball then coat the ball with sugar. Place the ball by a stream with a shot glass of lime juice. The cicadas will lick the sugar off, then get to the salt and want to get a drink. They will drink the lime juice (make sure that glass is right next in line) and get a bitter taste in their...