Go Ask Jo: 7/27/2022

Dear Jo,

My cat has tasted human blood...should I put her down or is there a spell to save her from becoming a cannibal?

I was playing a juggling game with her when I miscalculated the height and she landed on my head, bit my ear, and scratched my scalp. Later, I saw her licking my blood from her claws. I have mice, birds, and fish in my house, so naturally, I don’t want to live with a blood-thirsty killer cat.

I watched that Cujo documentary this weekend and I am really scared. Do you know any spells?

Thank you,

Afraid to Sleep

Dear Afraid,

My grandmother used to say “a dog will lay down and die beside its owner, a cat will eat its owner.” Now, I am not sure if that is true. I do not have cats, nor do I do spells. That being said, I did some research.

Only three percent of cats turn Cujo. The numbers are with you. But, if you find her standing over you in your sleep licking her mouth and drooling, you definitely have a problem. I wish you the best of luck.

Signed, Jo

Dear Jo,

I know your column is supposed to be funny. I hate to come in with such a serious problem, but I need some advice. My husband started a small business doing construction here in Whitehall. He went to school here and we returned a year ago with our family.

My husband did a project for a local woman and both parties were happy. She hired him to do another project and she has not paid.....for months.

He has been put in a very difficult position. He does not want to alienate any locals as they are his bread and butter, but to lose over five hundred dollars while trying to start a business and support his family is unacceptable. How can we solve this?

Signed,

In a Corner

Dear Corner,

Grrrrrrrrrr! If she has not even responded to say she needs time or to make payments, she needs a swift kick in her butt. Get out of that corner and make it clear that not paying is unacceptable. In the old days, we could put people in the stockade and throw rotten food at them. Somehow I don’t believe you are the first people to suffer non-payment from this person.

Signed, Jo