COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Cream of Frog Chowder

I was finally able to go on a vacation a while back. My cousin and I headed down to Florida, the state where you look like you have chicken pox all the time, due to the mosquitoes. We went to one of the local watering holes and got the best soup I have ever had. It was like clam chowder but with frog legs. I was able to sweet-talk the wonderful old-lady cook into sharing the recipe.

She looked to be 70 years old but was really 95, still hunting and cooking all the food for the bar/grille, with help from some of the local kids until she gets busted for violating child-labor laws. She took us out to hunt for the frogs that night.

We got on her boat around 9 Pm and cruised the swamp until darkness, looking for the best spot.

Turning on our headlights, there were glowing frog eyes all around us! It looked like an LED light showcase! Pulling out a net bigger than Trump's hair, and Biden her time, she took no time at all to catch a passel of frogs and dump them straight into the same pot she cooked the soup in. She told us that's what gave the soup the great taste, all the swamp water, gook, water skippers, and other bugs that got included. Claimed her best chowder was when a water moccasin got scooped up, but she was kidding. I think.

Back to the dock, she told us to be at the bar around 5 in the morning.

When we got there, she asked if any of us were descended from royalty. I said there was supposed to have been a king in my family generations ago. She got a terrified look and before I knew what happened, she taped my mouth shut!. "I'm sorry", she said, "but I can't risk you being a prince and accidentally kissing one of the frogs! It would be terrible if you have prince-blood and turned one of them into a princess and we ended up being cannibals!

As you make this recipe, just to be safe in case you have royal blood, don't even purse your lips, and wear one of the masks left over from COVID concern.

INGREDIENTS:

30 frog legs.

Use the rest as bait for alligators. (Recipe at a later date)

Salt and pepper

5 cups heavy whipping cream

2 cups milk

1 cup white wine

1lb. of potatoes

Oil

1 cup of green onions

DIRECTIONS:

1. Put some oil in the pot the frogs were in, and add frog legs, salt, and pepper. Cook until brown.

2. Then add the wine, cream, and milk. Put it on medium heat and cook for an hour.

3. Then add the potatoes and cook for another hour.

4. After all is cooked, pour into a bowl and add the green onions on top.

Bon Appetit!

P.S. these recipes aren't verified, but let us know if you give them a try!