COUSIN CLEAVON'S REDNECK COOKING: Lion, Tiger, Bear (Oh My!) Soup

This is a three-meat soup that is sometimes a once and a lifetime event. When I was a kid, we were able to have it because there was a lion and tiger that escaped from the zoo. We should have stayed inside the house like the news said, but my grandpa used us as bait. He told us to go play outside as he was hanging out the window with his gun.

The lion and tiger did not get shot by my grandpa, but by our buddy John down the street. John did not want the meat to go to waste, so he called my grandpa because he knew we would eat anything. Then my father went out bear hunting. However, he was high on LSD at the time and thought it was bear hunting. Once we paid his bail and dressed him, he really did get a bear.

Now, I hear the circus is coming to Whitehall, so I'm hoping to make the soup again. I don't know if one of the animals will get lose or maybe I can buy one. I really hope they get loose because the hunt is better than shooting it in the cage!

Once you have obtained the lion, tiger, and bear, remember to keep the skin, paws, and teeth. You can make a beautiful tiger skin rug and hopefully, your wife will start talking to you again. The paws and teeth are for the kids. Every kid would like to hear the heroic story of how you saved the town of Whitehall.

INGREDIENTS:

Lion

Tiger

Bear (Oh my!)

Salt and pepper

Bag of noodles

½ cup diced onion

4 carrots cut into small pieces

4 containers of chicken stock

DIRECTIONS:

1. This is like a chicken noodle soup, but with three different meats. I use the back straps from each animal, I cut them up into bite-sized pieces and seared in a hot cast-iron pan.

2. Then, in a pot, add the chicken stock, carrots, onion, noodles, and meat.

3. Let the soup cook for 4 hours on medium heat.

4. Season to taste. Keep Cousin "Hot Stuff" Cletus out of the cooking area!

5. Serve the soup in the finest china you have. The finer the china, the better the soup tastes.

Bon Appetit!!

P.S. These recipes aren't verified, but let us know if you give them a try!