Thought Provokers: 5/18/2022

You never miss the beer you didn’t drink yesterday.

Believe it or not, those ads aren’t wrong, there actually are hot singles in your area.

The cause of your death may be the end of the world.

You’re crazy if you DON’T talk to your dog.

Getting older feels kind of like losing superpowers that you never knew you had.

Since no one in the restaurant is interested in what’s on your plate, it’s weird that you think anyone on social media might be

Crazy to realize how some individuals are richer than entire countries and monarchs combined.

Ads just make you hate the product.

People have to play more golf to get better to play less golf.

We’re weirded out by hairless mammals even though humans by comparison are exceptionally more hairless than most mammals.

Tattoos are bumper stickers for human bodies.

The fastest way to become a grandparent is to adopt a teen mom.

Congratulating someone for becoming an aunt/uncle is ridiculous, considering they had no part in it or responsibility for it.

There is no way a fish could make contact with fire without human intervention.

There’s a chance a blood donor could get their own blood back when they need some.

A student’s recess from class is also a teacher’s recess from students.

A bumper on a car is meant to get bumped, but if you bump a bumper people get upset about it.

Even the smallest, most insignificant discoveries made by astronomers are astronomical discoveries.

A cowboy never grows up to be a cowman, which is a shame because Cowman could be an amazing superhero.

We talk about the mystery of deep-sea creatures a lot, but maybe the real mystery is the deep-earth creatures.

People on the internet complaining about people seeking attention on the internet are people seeking attention on the internet.

Skincare routines don’t apply to all parts of your skin.

Physics and chemistry have been ruling the universe for billions of years and biology tries to understand it.

If a pitcher known for throwing curveballs doesn’t throw a curveball, he’s still throwing a curveball.

The Flintstones technically walked everywhere they drove.

Something is always touching you.

In general, spouses are free but very expensive.

1992 was 30 years ago.