Cousin Cleavon's Redneck Cooking: Awesome Possum Tossum

Last week a relative of mine was visiting from Australia. She is my grandfather's third cousin's adopted sister's friend's next-door mate, in Montana hunting jackalopes and snipe. She had pretty good luck with the first but got skunked before I loaned her a sniper rifle. And a bath in tomato juice and baking soda.

But I digress. She brung us a recipe for a down-under treat, kangaroo barbecue stew, extra fun because it rhymes. I like rhymes. On the other hand, we ain't got none of them here, but we've all got barbies, as the Aussies say, so we'll have to make due with our American marsupial, possum.

PLEASE NOTE:

Double-check the animal is really dead, not just playin' possum. Otherwise, it can get really messy.

MAKE SURE YOU TAKE OUT THE MUSK GLANDS! You DON'T want a meal with your diners getting all twitterpated, spaced out, or victims of battery.

INGREDIENTS:

1 possum, gutted and skinned

3 Sweet potatoes

1 Onion

2 garlic cloves

1 can black-eyed peas

Barbecue

Bag of charcoal

Wok

5 cups barbecue sauce

2 cups soy sauce

Assorted herbs and spices – Use your imagination, but check expiration dates

Beer (as always)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Remove fat from possum and put in a jar. Apparently, this is supposed to be high in essential fatty acids and good for salves. My wife read that on Wikipedia, and now claims those qualities to justify her ample muffin.

2. Fillet the carcass, mix the herbs and spices to taste in the wok, then use it to toss the meat and coat it.

3. Place strips on the hot barbie. Turn often and cook until just medium rare.

4. Slice and dice veggies while you watch.

5. Drink beer.

6. Slice the meat into 1-inch cubes and toss with veggies in the wok, with the remaining previous spices, over the barbie until done to taste.

Tastes kind of like nope rope, which some people think tastes like chicken.

Bon Appetit!

P.S. these recipes aren't verified, but let us know if you give them a try!