RECIPE OF THE WEEK: Cousin Cleavon's Bigfoot Toe Jam

I can feel you questioning two phrases "Toe Jam" and "Bigfoot" but hear me out.

Bigfoot is number 5236 on the endangered species list and still can be found in parts of Montana. My great-grandma, Arlene, claimed she saw a Bigfoot and followed him. She watched him for days and nights. Arlene studied him, as he made what she called "Toe Jam". Now that I have been seeing big footprints up in the hills, I thought I would test this recipe out.

I have heard rumors that Bigfoot is very easy to catch and release. You need to lace the rope into the net then so you can throw the net over him when you are in a tree or on top of a rock. Sprinkle the 5 pounds of glitter on the ground where the net will land. Then place the red shoes into the middle. Little-known ancient lore reveals Bigfoot loves to bring his wife shoes. I thought if she could wear them, he would do anything to get her a pair. Then wait in the tree, all quiet like a church mouse, for Bigfoot to go after the shoes, then throw the net on him

CAUTION: Do not jump INTO the net with Bigfoot! Now comes the toe jam collection.

INGREDIENTS:

Bigfoot

Big net

Rope

5 lbs. of glitter

Size 15 women's red 8-in. high heels

Sugar water or Maple syrup

Big chair

DIRECTIONS:

1. Tie up Bigfoot and sit him down in the big chair. He will cooperate if you keep him focused on the red shoes. If he gets unruly, threaten to damage the shoes and tell his wife.

2. Soak his feet in sugar water or maple syrup. Maple syrup gives the jam a woody taste.

3. After about 2-hours of soaking, wash his feet in the water.

4. Then put the solution in a 5-gallon bucket. Yes, there will be a lot, after all, it is Bigfoot.

5. Transfer to Mason jars and can like any other jam. Store in a cave-like environment as Bigfoot would and age for 3 years.

6. Enjoy the jam on sourdough toast.

Bon Appetit!!

Want more from Cousin Cleavon? Let us know at whledger@gmail.com. P.S. these recipes aren't verified - but let us know if you give them a try!