RECIPE OF THE WEEK: Cousin Cleavon's Poor Man's Potato Chips

Now you are asking yourself, what is a poor man`s potato chip? Well, it's crow's feet that are fried like a potato chip. It does sounds nuts, but it's my wife`s favorite snack during her time of the month. There are two ways I found to get the crows without destroying their delicate feet.

One is to go to the local dump and shoot them with a shotgun. This way is beneficial to the county and you. The county does not have a murder of crows anymore and you may get to have free pickings to the metal pile. The second way hurts and takes time. You catch the crows with a net. First you lace a rope in the net so that you can close it. Then lay the net next to your bird feeder and throw some shiny coins on the net. For some reason, crows act like poor college students when they see shiny coins (meaning they want to pick them up as fast as they see them). When the crow lands in the net, close it fast. Then run up and hit him on the head, like your wife did to you last week with the frying pan. Do remember that crows love to pick out eyes, so the faster you hit them, the less likely you will get pecked at.

Now that you got the crow, it's time to remove the feet. I use an axe, it cuts fast, but takes experienced aim to prevent lopping off unwanted ingredients, like fingers. My nephew, Stubby, needed more practice. Alternate methods include bolt cutters and pruning shears.

INGREDIENTS:

15 crows

Salt and vinegar

Cooking oil

Brown paper bag (new, not used, you cheapskate)

Shotgun (optional)

Big net (optional)

Rope (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Clean and soak the feet in water for 3 days. This softens up the toenails so you can eat them.

2. Then dry them off and fry them in oil.

3. After frying, put them in the brown paper bag with the salt and vinegar. Then shake it like your aunty's butt when she drinks too much moonshine.

4. If you're like me, and used to eating crow, you can save the rest of the birds until you have four and twenty to bake in a pie. It's a royal dish. Bon Appetit!

Want more from Cousin Cleavon? Let us know at whledger@gmail.com.

P.S. these recipes aren't verified - but let us know if you give them a try!