Homo What?

A Fire Marshal decided to ignite a large bucket of gasoline to burn the built-up soot in his chimney. His fireplace was cold. He stopped sliding the sloshing bucket of gasoline across the hearth when his favorite polyester disco suit, the powder blue one with wide lapels, flash-melted. A lit cigar stub dangled between his blistered lips.

His body’s defense mechanisms mitigated shock, fought infection, and accelerated the healing process. He survived. His pension plan and disability benefits ensured marital success and he proved to be quite fecund, fathering seven sons, despite resembling a gob...