Thought Provokers: 9/29/2021

Hitting someone’s back who is coughing is the human equivalent of smacking your electronics when they aren’t working properly.

Our entire lives are spent designing our corpse.

Randomly hearing your favorite song on the radio is more satisfying than playing it directly from your iPod or phone.

Good ghosts are the ones scaring you to keep you away. The bad ones want to draw you in.

Maybe aging is a disease and Earth is quarantined. Maybe that’s the reason aliens don’t visit us.

No one has any idea of what it feels like to be dead.

You might have made a decision that saved your life, without knowing it.

Life is just a hallucination caused by breathing oxygen, because when you stop breathing it, everything goes away.

There will likely be a movie or TV series that you really like that you’ll never get to see the end of because you died.

A really good liar will have you believing they are a bad one.

People who believe in an afterlife will never feel disappointed when they are dead, even if they are wrong.

Knowing you have the next day off is more relieving than the actual day off.

Failure is spelling a word so badly that there are no spelling suggestions.

Most “save the planet” clean-up efforts don’t actually reduce the amount of trash on Earth. They just move trash from land on which it is unacceptable to land on which trash is acceptable.

Nothing is ever on fire. Fire is on things.

It isn’t until you die that your skeleton finally hatches.

Your dog doesn’t know you can make mistakes. When you trip over him in the dark, he thinks you got up just to kick him in the head.

If centaurs were real, the bottom half would start walking around immediately after being born, while the top half would be all floppy for the first two years.

If I touch my phone in the right places, a pizza will show up at my front door.

If you put one lasagna on top of another one, you still have just one lasagna.