Go Ask Jo: 6/16/2021

Dear Jo,

I am a procrastinator, really. I put off anything I can until the last moment. I pick up the mail, put the bills under my fruit bowl and carry on. I see my prescription bottles emptying, know I should call, and still put off filling it until the last day. There are many more examples. Yes, it stresses me out. Yes, I know lots of things would be easier if I did not procrastinate. At this point, I am unsure how to change what has become a habit I have had most of my adult life. Any advice?

Signed,

Procrastination Specialist

Dear Procrastination,

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! I try to use this mantra whenever I feel overwhelmed and start to shut down. It works. Try getting your mail three times this week, go through it all and jot bill dates on your calendar. When you see how just this small change helps, you’ll be on your way. Changing a habit takes a month, so get started. In 30 years you will be perfect! :/

Signed, Jo

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Dear Jo,

How do you “read” people? Have I been missing something my entire life?! I thought I was pretty good at communicating and maintaining relationships with people. I now believe I have been missing “cues,” both facial and body from others. Apparently, when someone is talking to you and crosses their arms across their chest, it shows self protection. What are they protecting themselves from? My voice, my bad breath, my …..what?! If a person looks down and to the left, they are supposedly lying. Really?! What if there is a spider about to crawl up my pant leg? Maybe I have spinach in my teeth and they are grossed out! Do I need to study this, fix this, is it a huge issue?

Signed,

Arms crossed

Dear Crossed,

Breathe with me…..in through your nose 2, 3, 4, out through your mouth 2, 3, 4. Uncross your arms (and your eyes if need be!) You are not alone. We human beings are not usually known for being great listeners and “cue” readers. The advice I have for you is this...try to stay present in your conversations. That means looking people in the eye, engaging in the interaction by paying attention to your own body and facial signals. There are books out there to learn to be more adept at all of this. If you really are worried, go grab one and start studying. I feel like if we all just try harder to stay in moment, to be present in whatever we are doing, we will benefit in all our relationships and enjoy those moments so much more.

Signed, Jo