COLUMN: Store Shenanigans

The other day I was at the grocery store searching for some chipotle peppers in adobo sauce when I overheard two ladies having a conversation. They had not seen each other in quite some time and were very happy to see each other and exchange pleasantries with a few questions about how things were going.

I could tell at a point in time they were very close as they both asked about their spouses, kids, and jobs. At the end of the conversation, they both said they really needed to get ahold of each other soon so they could do something together. It was kind of sad knowing that the contact between them may never happen and they might not see each other again for a few years and once again at the store.

While it may seem like just an ordinary task to go and pick up a few groceries, there is always a lot more going on at the store. In fact, it can tell you a lot about people.

There isn't a time I go to a grocery store, large or small, that I don't see a cart sitting next to a vehicle or multiple ones not where they belong. I can't understand how hard it is to take less than a minute to put a cart back, but it happens all the time. When it is windy, which seems to be half the time, the carts glide through the parking lot seemingly eager to nail the door of a car. Some people will often times push the cart inside, but rather than stack it with the rest of the carts, they will just leave it right by the entrance to make the other shoppers have to go through a maze just to get their hamburger buns.

Speaking of carts, I think that the misbehavior extends into the aisles, especially when the store is packed. Every time I go to a store the day before a holiday like Thanksgiving, it is impossible to navigate the middle of the aisle because people can't push their cart to the side. It really isn't that hard. If you are looking for something or having a conversation with a long-lost friend, just move your damn cart. It makes a much more pleasant experience for everyone.

The winter is also a nightmare at the store. It doesn't matter if it is half an inch or 25 inches of snow, once there is the white stuff on the ground, everyone forgets how to park. Even if you can't see the lines, I don't understand how hard it is to improvise where they might be.

I also get saddened with the lack of the simple phrase "excuse me". I get the store can be stressful especially when someone is in a hurry or it is packed, but if you bump into or cut someone off the simple thing to do is to utter the phrase. It's not only the right thing to do, but it makes it a lot less stressful environment.

I've known people over the years who will only shop near closing time or right when a store opens in an effort to not deal with the nasty grocery store people.

I often times don't understand how people in really big cities deal with the stress of the store all the time. The bigger the city, the bigger the frustration.

Maybe a long with science, math, and history, we could have a grocery store etiquette class taught in school. Teaching kids at a young age to not block the aisle with their cart or give dirty looks to somebody because they are in their pajamas could go a long way to making things a lot easier. They could take the kids out to the parking lot and have them return carts until they can barely walk.

Sounds like a win-win to me. Now if only those two ladies at the store would actually just call one another and do something.