Column: Connected to a Wall

I've tried multiple times to erase the memories of my junior high school pictures.

No matter how hard I try, nothing can be done to remove the images of just how stupid I looked. In one, I had a ridiculous mullet. It wasn't just the run-of-the-mill Billy Ray Cyrus "Achy Breaky Heart", or a hockey mullet, I had my hair feathered on the top and permed in the back. It was just awful. As bad as that hairdo was, it might have been worse the year before when I had some sort of weird Vanilla Ice steps shaved into the side of my head. Looking back, I thought I was the coolest guy in East Junior High S...