Column: I wouldn't do that

There is something so spell binding about someone telling you "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I'll be the first to say it happens to me more than I would like to admit, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who falls prey to these viscous, yet captivating words.

Thankfully this story isn't about me doing something I was told wouldn't be the best of ideas; I will instead give the honor to Melissa. The poor girl is sitting only about five feet from me as I type this and has no idea that I'm about to share this wonderful story, but she will learn about it soon enough.

A couple of weeks ago, we took a very short road trip. I knew with school starting and a lot of sporting events, this may be the only time I get out of town for a while, so I was eager to spend a few days having some fun.

I wanted to maximize as much time as I could on the trip, so we decided to leave at Midnight. Melissa had taken a nap from about 6 p.m. to 11 p.m., so she would take the first leg of the journey.

We had made it to I-15 and were making great time when we decided to stop at one of those outhouses provided by the state of Montana. I'm pretty sure most people will understand what I'm talking about, it's not quite a rest stop, but it's a convenient little bathroom in the middle of the nowhere.

So around 2 or 3 a.m., we pulled into one of these and I was the first to brave the tiny little structure. I didn't have my phone or flashlight, so it was almost pitch black. The first thing I noticed was the smell. This wasn't run of the mill port o potty smell -- this was one of the worst smells I've encountered in my life. I wasn't sure what is in the bottom of the outhouse, but I'm pretty sure it had once lived.

I came screaming out of the bathroom and those first few breaths of fresh Montana air was one of the better moments of the trip. I pleaded with Melissa to not go in. I said it smelled like a dead body and we should just stop at the next exit. I begged and finally said as she approached the door, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

She didn't heed my warning. When someone says that it is almost like a challenge. She faced the challenge and had quite the story to tell several minutes later.

Melissa tried to hold her breath, but when she could no longer she encountered the smell. She instantly was sick, which brought her closer to the toilet, which made her sick again. She was green when she got back into the car. I felt bad for her, but I had also told her those magical words that know one seems to listen to.

When we made our way back past that point two days later we didn't stop.

She didn't want to make that mistake again, and I surely wasn't going for round two.