Serving Southern Jefferson County in the Great State of Montana
Serving Southern Jefferson County in the Great State of Montana
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I used to adore hard edges and corners. My favorite things growing up were edgy. I played with wooden building blocks for hours. Oh sure, I had a frivolous fling with Play-Doh. But my true love was Legos. Art? Picasso’s The Three Musicians still seems to “jiggle” every molecule in the room. Craps is my favorite casino game. I love rolling them bones. And I find the tinkling sound ice cubes make when splashed with Wild Turkey enchanting. But then I grew long in the tooth. As my metabolic rate...
Craving the needle – adoration - he’s the mercurial protagonist of rubbish day. He shows up - to dump. It’s downhill from here. The old white rig, gears grinding, rife with putrefaction, picks up speed. Can’t be stopped, he snort-smirks in giddy glee. He’s under no obligation. Half the townsfolk have steeped in anticipation for hours, many overnight. They sniff each other, longing to spin together as one in his vortex of validation. Amused by his churlish capers - placated by porcine promises....
Somewhere in Afghanistan... “Welcome to my humble cave, Khalil.” “Humble? It’s a lovely hole in the ground Rashad. And I love what you’ve done with the throw pillows.” “Thank you, Khalil! But sit my friend. Let us dine. Some tea perhaps?” “Oh, thank you, Rashad, that would be splendid indeed.” “Khalil. Before we plan the bombing of another plane, I have some bad news.” “Bad news? I don’t believe it! Surely you are joking Rashad.” “No. I’m afraid it’s true. I have failed you Khalil; I am very ash...
A Fire Marshal decided to ignite a large bucket of gasoline to burn the built-up soot in his chimney. His fireplace was cold. He stopped sliding the sloshing bucket of gasoline across the hearth when his favorite polyester disco suit, the powder blue one with wide lapels, flash-melted. A lit cigar stub dangled between his blistered lips. His body’s defense mechanisms mitigated shock, fought infection, and accelerated the healing process. He survived. His pension plan and disability benefits e...
Some cultures respect the wisdom of elders. Not us. We follow Facebook, TV evangelism, identity cult politics, and Kardashian's lip and bikini shots. It's okay with me, even though I'm growing long in the tooth. The last thing I want to become is some sort of Jacka$$ Yoda: no thanks! The band I'm in plays at nursing homes. We do morning gigs because afternoons are "nappy time." Evenings are out because bedtime is shortly after dinner, which is served around 4 PM. They feed us lunch, so we'll sti...
“Hello. I’m Chip. How may I help you?” “Good morning Chip.” (Wow, is he hot!) “I’m here for my job interview.” “Your name please?” “Kinky. Kinky Kroshus.” “Please have a seat Ms. Kroshus. You will be interfaced shortly,” said Chip. “Don’t you mean interviewed?” “Oh. All our job interviews are conducted by humatrons Ms. Kroshus. We refer to it as interfacing. We find artificial intelligence superior to human judgement,” Chip responded. “But you hire humans?” “Yes. But only for positions w...
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I Lord. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8 Veterans Day is about remembrance. A day to ponder the service and sacrifice of the men and women who said, “send me!” To honor those who set aside their own civil liberty, comfort, security, and for many, their lives…to unselfishly heed a higher calling. But who are these veterans? Our veterans are visible and invisible. Known and unknown. Each Veterans Day...
I hate shopping malls. I hate Chuck E. Cheese even more. Yet I found myself standing in the main corridor of Anchorage’s Fifth Avenue Mall, about to enter Chuck E. Cheese. My best friend Daryle had invited me to attend his son’s commercially canned birthday party. How could I not? Chuck’s a clever rodent. To get to or from the dining area you have to pass through the arcade. The second I entered my senses were assaulted. Strobes flashed while twinkle lights from a disco ball spiraled. Every...
