Serving Southern Jefferson County in the Great State of Montana
Serving Southern Jefferson County in the Great State of Montana
Sorted by date Results 26 - 38 of 38
This is the best way to get rid of cicadas, you know, those bugs that sound like your wife. They never shut up. However, unlike her, they only come out every 13-17 years! Cicadas are very difficult to attract. You need salt, sugar, two shot glasses, tequila, and lime juice. Wet the salt so you can roll it into a ball then coat the ball with sugar. Place the ball by a stream with a shot glass of lime juice. The cicadas will lick the sugar off, then get to the salt and want to get a drink. They will drink the lime juice (make sure that glass is...
You're wondering what an Antbear is? It's an aardvark, an African animal that eats ants. I recently had Biniam an African buddy of mine visit. He was very shocked that we had a car, because he was told that everyone in Montana had a horse and no electricity. He was right that we still had an outhouse and no shower. Having no shower make him feel at home, because in Africa all they have is a river to-do most of everything. He was concerned that we did not need a safety person when doing whatever in the river, couldn't believe there was no...
I was finally able to go on a vacation a while back. My cousin and I headed down to Florida, the state where you look like you have chicken pox all the time, due to the mosquitoes. We went to one of the local watering holes and got the best soup I have ever had. It was like clam chowder but with frog legs. I was able to sweet-talk the wonderful old-lady cook into sharing the recipe. She looked to be 70 years old but was really 95, still hunting and cooking all the food for the bar/grille, with help from some of the local kids until she gets...
I can hear the questions right now, "what is Himalayan Rabbit?" Well, it`s not a rabbit imported from the high mountains of Tibet, or even one covered in the $80-per-gram salt my wife said would improve the taste (but did nothing for me). It is him a layin` on the road rabbit. I found that the best rabbit I have ever had is one that has been run over many times with a car. It helps to tenderize the meat to the point it just falls off the bone, but too many semis over-tenderize them. The best Himalayan rabbit is locally sourced in Whitehall, or...
Last week a relative of mine was visiting from Australia. She is my grandfather's third cousin's adopted sister's friend's next-door mate, in Montana hunting jackalopes and snipe. She had pretty good luck with the first but got skunked before I loaned her a sniper rifle. And a bath in tomato juice and baking soda. But I digress. She brung us a recipe for a down-under treat, kangaroo barbecue stew, extra fun because it rhymes. I like rhymes. On the other hand, we ain't got none of them here, but we've all got barbies, as the Aussies say, so...
Here in Montana, you hear a lot about the mythical creature called the Man-Bear-Pig. I was sitting around the fire last weekend with my family and Uncle Jim-Bob told a hero story of how he saved Mary-Loo from the beast. Interesting story about her name, she was born in a rest-room in London. Jim-Bob also made the best pork rinds I have ever had, from the creature. Jim-Bob and Mary-Loo were going out in the wood last fall to hunt for deer. Mary shot a Nice 4-point buck when it started to become dark out. Mary was yelling for Bob, but Bob was...
Rattlesnake is one of the easiest meats to acquire. You can normally find them on the road during the summer. Rattlesnakes love warm places, because they are cold-blooded, just like my ex-wife. There are only two ways to get rattlesnakes, one is to find them dead on the road, and the other is to shoot them. If you acquire a snake on the road, throw a handful of rocks at it, to double check if the snake is alive. No one wants a snake to jump at them, any more than a spider over your head. As soon as you can tell it is dead, put your boot on its...
Skunks are a dime a dozen in Montana. No one wanted to catch them or get near them. That is why you will be able to get a lot of skunk livers! The big question is how to catch the skunk without getting sprayed? Well, you will always get sprayed but that means you don't have to be around your wife for a couple of days. The two top methods I use are the live trap and the dog method. With the live trap, I put wet cat food in the trap and wait. Normally I catch a couple of cats before I get a skunk. I let the cats go in Whitehall (no cats were...
I can feel you questioning two phrases "Toe Jam" and "Bigfoot" but hear me out. Bigfoot is number 5236 on the endangered species list and still can be found in parts of Montana. My great-grandma, Arlene, claimed she saw a Bigfoot and followed him. She watched him for days and nights. Arlene studied him, as he made what she called "Toe Jam". Now that I have been seeing big footprints up in the hills, I thought I would test this recipe out. I have heard rumors that Bigfoot is very easy to catch and release. You need to lace the rope into the net...
Now you are asking yourself, what is a poor man`s potato chip? Well, it's crow's feet that are fried like a potato chip. It does sounds nuts, but it's my wife`s favorite snack during her time of the month. There are two ways I found to get the crows without destroying their delicate feet. One is to go to the local dump and shoot them with a shotgun. This way is beneficial to the county and you. The county does not have a murder of crows anymore and you may get to have free pickings to the metal pile. The second way hurts and takes time. You...
In my opinion, bobcat is one of the hardest animals to get but satisfies the most indiscriminate tastes. You can either use hounds to track the cat down or use a trap to get him by his foot. When using hounds, all you do is let them out of the truck and drink all the beer you want until you hear them dogs go crazy. The one problem with hounds is that they can leave the hide all holey. That means you will not be able to make that sexy bobcat rug for your wife for Valentine's Day. As for trapping, it can take weeks to get the right animal in the...
Before even getting the trout, you need to get your explosive license. It is hard to do, just like getting the cops off your back for the moonshine you have been making, but you need it to buy dynamite. First thing is going through background checks, which you know uncle Bob would not pass in a thousand years. Lying a lot will improve your chances. Then to take a class that anyone can pass with one eye closed. After all that, you need to find a provider of dynamite that will kill fish and not destroy the boat you are in. This detail may...
Cousin Cleavon, from right here in lovely Whitehall, has put together Cousin Cleavon's Redneck Cooking and is looking to share the wealth of roadkill recipes with everyone! INGREDIENTS: Makes 3 good gut filling portions 1 Average-size raccoon 1 cup flour 2 eggs Hot sauces 2 billy-clubs ½ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon pepper Cooking oil NOTE: Not drained from your pickup! DIRECTIONS: Harvesting of the raccoon: roadkill or hunting? I enjoy roadkill raccoon, that way it comes pre-tenderized. You don't have to use a billy club unless it di...
